Before We Get Into It!

GUYS! I am writing this blog post from bed!! You might be wondering, how else would I be writing this?! By creating a markdown file in vscode and pushing to github šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« I know, pretty awful and way too much work for just a blog post.

But I automated all that boring stuff by making my own personal app that allows me to write and edit posts and push them to my site directly! I cannot wait to add more features like deleting posts, updating the UI, and adding images šŸ„¹ I will also dedicate my next post on how I made the app!

I am so happy because now I can write more shitposts as well lol.

Okay cool moving on.

Junior Year Is Almost Over.

I feel like I am in a dream, and life is not real. Honestly, this quarter had a few highs and slightly more lows, with crazy classes and mental wellness.

I donā€™t want to sound pessimist but as each year of college goes on, life becomes exponentially more serious. I know people who are moving onto the next big chapter of their life, such as pursuing grad school, moving to a new city, or working full time.

I feel so much uncertainty in my future, let alone where I am right now. Maybe you can relate. I know I need to stop being so serious but sometimes it feels like everyone else has it figured out! Of course it seems that way from an outsider perspective, but we must remember that everyone has their own hardships too. Hah I need to follow my own advice.

REPEAT AFTER ME!!!

  1. Comparison is the thief of joy
  2. I do NOT have to have ā€œeverything figured outā€
  3. I donā€™t need to rushā€”my path is uniquely mine
  4. Every small action I take is proof that Iā€™m showing up for myself
  5. So many more i could keep going foreverā€¦

(Guys Iā€™m at the point where I need these affirmations as a ringtone, a bumper sticker, a baby tee, and printed on a bottle of vodka labeled ā€œYouā€™re Fine, Probablyā€ šŸ˜­)

Okay jokes aside, l want to dissect the happies and sads of this quarter as a small reflection of where I am at right now.

Happies

  • started off weekend 1 strong with hella kickbacks and beach day with everyone
  • insane turnout for HealthLink career fair
  • pickle ball and tennis classes
  • so so many HealthLink events and lots of learning how to troubleshoot TAP forms šŸ˜…
  • balboa Earth Fest with gal pals, crazy thrift finds
  • celebrating Yazminā€™s birthday!
  • UCLAAAAA + exploring LA with the best team ever
  • sungod. tbh enjoyed dressing up more than anything
  • second place at groq hack day. Idk what iā€™m gonna do with so much groq merch.
  • first welfare wednesday šŸ˜³ wild experience.
  • playing the guitar everyday! I can see so much improvement šŸ„¹

Sads

  • havenā€™t been going to the gym much ā˜¹ļø mandatory classes plus living off campus has made this so difficult
  • time consuming classes. tell me why i have individual labs, group assignments, group projects, quizzes, two midterms, final project presentations, weekly meetings just for one class.
  • lots of anxiety. what does it mean to be successful, and how to achieve so called success
  • anxiety. always feeling that I am not doing enough, but also finding it hard to do more
  • more anxiety. being hyper self aware about my anxiety makes me wonder why I am not able to make it go away
  • maybe some more sad thoughts that I donā€™t want to put out in the public lol.

I am very lucky that a lot of my ā€œsadsā€ are not caused by external factors. But itā€™s a double-edged swordā€”because that means itā€™s all in me. I guess Iā€™m in control of my lifeā€¦ but that also means I canā€™t blame anything else when I feel stuck, unmotivated, or lost.

To anyone that made it this far, I appreciate you for reading some of my sadder thoughts. If you are also feeling overwhelmed or unsure, I see you. But I think we will be okay together!